1. Feel what you feel and be politely honest with others about it. If you, do not feel merry, cheerful, or otherwise festive, then say so.

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2. Reserve your feelings. If you would rather say, "I am fine," that is okay.

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3. Avoid parties or family gatherings where your loved one and your grief are not welcome.

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4. Take time for yourself. Whether this is a walk alone, a day in bed, or some other momentary escape.

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5. Cry when it hurts, laugh when something is funny, and smile when you are happy. Don't feel guilty about any of it.

6. Have your loved one remembered in a way that is meaningful to you.

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7. Change your mind repeatedly during any get-together, event, or party. You may not know what you can or cannot handle until faced with it.

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8. To change traditions when necessary or desired. Traditions are supposed to bring comfort, not distress.

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9. Enjoy your holidays. Your loved one is going to be celebrating with you. It doesn't mean that you have forgotten or are being disrespectful. Living life is a wonderful way to honor them.

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10. Try again next year if this year does not turn out the way that you want.

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